"Our Strange Obsession with Our Successful Relatives" By Aditya Singh

It happens in almost every conversation. You might be talking to someone about life or work, and suddenly they say something like, “Mere mausi ki beti IIT mein professor hai,” or “Mere fufa ji IAS officer hain.” We hear such things so often that they almost feel normal. But if you stop and think for a moment, you’ll wonder why do people say these things? Why do we try to connect ourselves with our so-called successful relatives, even when we barely know them?

The truth is simple most of us want to feel respected and valued. We all want people to take us seriously. And when we don’t have something of our own to show, we often use the success of others to feel important. It’s like borrowing someone else’s story to make our own life sound better.

In India, this happens even more because we live in a society where family identity matters a lot. When someone in the family does well, everyone feels proud as if their success belongs to all of us. So when people say, “My cousin works in America,” or “My uncle is a big officer,” they’re not just sharing information they’re trying to show that they come from a good, capable family.

But deep down, it also shows something else a small feeling of insecurity. Maybe that person doesn’t have anything of their own to be proud of yet. So they use their relatives’ success to feel worthy in front of others. Psychologists call this “reflected glory” when we feel proud because someone close to us has achieved something big.

There’s nothing wrong with feeling happy for your relatives. But the problem begins when you start using their success to build your own image. Because in the end, no one remembers you for your uncle’s job or your cousin’s college. People remember you for what you do for your actions, your values, and your hard work.

So instead of borrowing pride from others, let’s try to create something of our own that makes people proud to know us. Real pride comes from what we do, not from whom we are related to.